Hey there, lovely readers! It’s your romantic explorer, Louisa Loveluck, and today we’re embarking on a journey to deepen the connection with your partner through the power of romantic questions.

To ask your partner, are you looking for romantic questions? One possibility is that you and your partner talk all the time.

You think you know everything about them in the world. This closeness might even be something you take for granted!

However, take a moment to ask yourself this: how close do things feel emotionally?

Which partner do you really think you know well?

What important questions have you always wanted to ask? Here is the ultimate list of romantic questions to ask your partner, whether you’ve been dating for a few weeks or married for many years.

Table of Contents

1 What Makes You Feel Connected to Me?

Asking this sweet question can offer telling information about your partner’s values.

They might love it when you cuddle with them before going to bed. If you sit down and ask them how they’re doing that day, they might feel the most cared for. You won’t know either way until you ask!

2 What’s Your Favorite Memory of Us?  

This question encourages you both to fondly reflect on the past. You might also be surprised by their answer; there’s a chance your partner enjoyed something that may have seemed completely insignificant to you.

3 What’s the Best Part of Our Relationship?

Why is your partner glad to be in a relationship with you? What makes it so amazing to them?

Knowing this answer can help you make sure you prioritize the parts that seem most special.  

4 What Is Your Favorite Part of Me?

Do you really know what your partner loves about you, even if they always compliment you?

Should you not, here is a great question to ask! Make sure to return the favor by letting them know what your favorite part is as well!

5 What’s Something You Really Want Us to Try?

Even if you two have been together for a long time, there’s a good chance your partner is open to trying something new together!

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This question can help couples escape ruts and inspire new ways to connect.

6 What Did You Learn the Most From Your Last Relationship?

In a past relationship, what did they learn?Some of the most important questions to ask in a new relationship are these ones.

Their answer can reveal important details about how they processed the past and learned from it.

A decent person is old enough to know what they learned and share it with others.

If they keep talking badly about their ex, though, that’s probably a red flag!

7 What Does Trust Mean to You?

We all know that trust is important for a healthy relationship, but everyone has a different idea of what trust is.

You and your partner may have very different ideas about what it means.

Take some time to think about trust and its role in your relationship. If the other person is a player, you probably want to know right away!

8 How Do You Feel About Our Sex Life?

It’s a good idea for you and your partner to have routine discussions about sex because it is an important part of feeling connected.

You may spark a conversation about how things are going in the bedroom by asking them this open-ended question.

9 What Do You Think of Our Home?

Homes can reflect moods, personalities, and connectivity. How you take care of your home can be a clue as to how well you care for yourselves.

Asking this important question may help you decide if you want to improve. 

10 What’s Something You Want to Change About Yourself?

What does your partner want to get better? In the future, what changes do they hope to make? People who are open to becoming the best version of themselves are usually good partners.

That could be a problem if they can’t answer this question or if they don’t identify anything as wanting to change.

11 What Does a Perfect Day Look Like to You?

Do you know what makes your partner genuinely happy? What would make a perfect day for them if they had no distractions?

As a bonus, knowing this answer may inspire you to plan this perfect day for them, and nothing is more romantic than that!

12 What’s an Activity You’ve Always Wanted to Try?

Whether it’s now boarding or sculpture, most of us have interests that pique our interest.

It’s just that we haven’t gotten to them yet. Asking your partner this question may motivate them to take the plunge and try something new, or it may motivate you both to try something new.

13 What’s a Vice You Can’t Seem to Let Go Of?

No body is perfect, and partners in a healthy relationship accept each other’s flaws.

This question encourages self-reflection and may spark a conversation about areas where you can both improve.

14 Can You Share a Fantasy You Have About Me?

Think you know everything about your partner. Think again! We all have fantasies- some of us tend to be more private about them than others.

If your partner is willing to answer this question, it probably means they trust you deeply! 

15 Do You Believe in Soul Mates?

Some people do, and some don’t, but it can be romantic to know where your partner stands on this question.

If they do believe in soul mates, you might want to follow up by asking, Do you think you’ve found your soul mate? 

16 What Makes You Most Scared in Our Relationship?

Fear is normal in any relationship, but what makes your partner worry the most?

The possibility of you leaving them for someone else? You getting sick or dying?

Although these answers may seem morbid, knowing their concerns can help you be a more supportive and loving partner to them. 

17 Where Do You See Us in Ten Years?

Determining if they truly see a future with you is one of the best questions to ask to get to know someone romantically.

It may mean they aren’t ready to take that next step if this question makes them uncomfortable or if they only offer a hazy, ambiguous answer.

18 What’s Something You’re Willing to Compromise on in Our Relationship?

Has your partner agreed to let the dog sleep with you in bed? Have they come to terms with the fact that you like to get to bed later than them?

Knowing where your partner stands on this issue can lead to a greater connection. All relationships require some element of compromise.

19 When Do You Feel Most Lonely? 

Nobody likes the idea of their partner feeling lonely, but most of us struggle with this feeling occasionally.

Knowing when it happens to your partner can help you be more attuned and empathic to their needs.

20 What About Me Annoys You the Most? 

You may not love the answer, but it’s still a good idea to know what your partner doesn’t really like about you.

Why? Because it may be a habit, you can work on or try to change it. Or, it may represent a deeper issue that you two must resolve together. 

21 What Are Your Thoughts on Having Children?

One of the most polarizing issues a couple has to deal with is having children. This is because there isn’t much room for compromise.

The relationship may not be salvable if one of you genuinely doesn’t want kids but the other does.

This is why it’s a good idea to talk about it early in the relationship. Especially if one of you is starting to feel better, read it frequently.

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22 What’s Something You Really Want Us to Prioritize?

Maybe your partner wishes to travel more. Perhaps they want to save money and get out of debt.

Knowing their priorities can help you support their goals. 

23 What Makes You Feel Jealous?

We all get jealous, but it can help to know what your partner’s triggers are.

Take the example of spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex. Do they feel jealous?

Being around people who are more successful than them makes them feel jealous, right?

It’s not your responsibility to protect them from these triggers, of course.

However, knowing more about them can help you have a more open mind and show empathy for the role they might play.

24 How Do You Feel About How Often We Spend Time Together?

Everyone has a different definition of what makes adequate quality time.

It’s a good idea to routinely check in with your partner to determine if you’re making the most of your time together. You may discover they want more time! 

25 What Turns You on the Most?

Knowing what drives your partner wild promotes a healthy and enjoyable sex life. If you know what turns them on, you can focus more on that! 

26 If You Could Take Me Anywhere in the World, Where Would You Take Me?

Is it Paris? Disneyland? Antarctica? Is it somewhere you’ve always talked about going together- or somewhere they think you’d love?

This is a fun question that can spark some enjoyable conversations about travel, leisure time, and how you two prioritize time together. 

27 What Makes You Feel Angry?

Do you know what triggers your partner’s anger? If not, this is a good question to ask.

It can help you be more mindful of things you do that may cause frustration. But it can also help your partner recognize if they need to be more 

28 Why Do You Think We’re Together?

Does your partner believe in destiny? Do they assume you’re together because you share so many common interests?

Asking this question can spark some interesting conversation about the purpose of relationships- and why you two are in one!  

29 What Song Reminds You of Me?

Music can be profoundly intimate. Maybe a song you two listened to reminds your partner of you when you first met.

Or perhaps it’s a song they just really love- and the lyrics remind them of the times you two have had together.

30 What’s the Sexiest Thing I’ve Ever Done?

You might think you know everything about everything when it comes to turning your partner on.

But you may never really know if you don’t ask this question! 

31 How Did Your Parents Show You Love?

A lot of what we value in relationships comes down to patterns we learned in our first few relationships.

Therefore, families play a direct role in shaping how partners give and receive love.

This question will undoubtedly spark an important conversation about your partner’s priorities in your relationship.

32 What Was Your First Impression of Me?

Were they nervous around you? Did they find you beautiful? Funny? Did they feel like they had to get to know you better?

First impressions can go a long way in cementing relationships, and knowing where your partner stands can send you both down a fond memory lane. 

33 What Does Love Really Mean to You?

Love is flexible and can mean many things. For some people, it means they let the other person make them feel like they belong.

Some people feel a connection with someone because they feel safe being themselves around them and want to build a life with that person.

Knowing the definition of your partner now opens the door for more personal discussions about connection and loyalty.

34 How Important Is Romance to You in Our Relationship?

Some people find romance to be a real part of their relationships and cannot live without it.

Others may see it as a luxury—it’s nice to have, but not necessary.

If we don’t know where they stand in terms of romance, we may resent our partners.

If you know the answer, you can keep your expectations about the relationship realistic.

Want to make the romance stronger? Sending romantic messages to your crush is the ultimate romantic gesture.

35 What Was the Hardest Decision You Ever Had to Make?

Even if your partner has had a relatively good life, there’s a good chance they’ve faced adversity.

Likewise, they have probably needed to make challenging, painful choices.

Knowing your partner’s answers can help you cultivate greater insight into their strengths- and find more empathy for their weaknesses. 

36 When, if Ever, Is Lying Acceptable?

Some people think lying in any way is always wrong. Some people find ways around the rule.

A healthy relationship needs healthy boundaries.

Knowing where your partner stands can help you both set healthy ones.

37 What Word Best Describes Our Relationship?

This playful and fun question encourages your partner to think about what your relationship entails.

You can follow up by asking if they’re happy with the word they come up with that describes your relationship.

38 What Does Safety Mean to You?

We all want to feel safe in our relationships. We want to know that our partner has our back and can be there for us when we need them the most.

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But does your partner have a different definition or priority regarding safety?

Knowing if they do can help ensure that you do your best to accommodate this need. 

39 When Was the Last Time You Felt Really Afraid?

Knowing your partner’s fears can help you be more sensitive to their moods and needs.

You can’t necessarily protect them from feeling scared, but you can aim to be a positive source of support. 

40 How Can I Make You Feel More Loved Each Day?

Can you identify any small actions you can take to make your partner feel special?

When they arrive at home, is it as simple as greeting them with a warm smile? When they receive a random text message during the day, do they feel thrilled?

To make sure you do things that add value to the relationship, you should know what makes them feel loved and what doesn’t.

41 What’s a Compliment You’ll Always Remember?

In the past, how did your partner feel loved or appreciated? What made them feel real good about themselves, exactly?

This is not to say that you need to repeat those compliments; that would be fake.

But knowing what makes them feel valued helps foster more romance and intimacy.

42 When You Feel Sad, How Can I Best Support You?

It’s great when everyone in a relationship is happy. However, they tend to count when one of you is having a hard time and the cards are down.

You need to know what your partner needs from you when that’s the case.

The next time they’re having a hard time, whether it’s patience, validation, or a pint of ice cream, being prepared can help you step in appropriately.

43 How Do You Feel About the Way We Handle Conflict?

It may not sound romantic, but knowing how you two approach conflict can reveal valuable insight into your level of relationship satisfaction.

If, for example, your partner feels anxious or upset about how you two argue, it’s probably time to reassess.

44 When Was the Last Time You Felt Really Close to Me?

Even in healthy relationships, partners tend to ebb and flow with their level of closeness.

That’s why knowing what fosters closeness is important for your partner.

Knowing this information can help you prioritize doing more of what works. 

45 What Do You Still Need From Me in This Relationship?

Sure, you two may feel happy and content. But is there room for growth? Are there areas where you can improve?

If your partner can give you that feedback, it allows you to focus on trying to meet those needs (assuming they are realistic and appropriate). 

46 How Can I Show You How Special You Are?

Sure, this question might make your partner blush, but you should still ask it!

You should make every effort to make your partner feel special if you truly love them.

But knowing how to do this reduces the amount of guesswork involved.

47 When Do You Need Alone Time?

Even though you two may feel obsessed with one another, everyone needs alone time to regroup.

Alone time helps each of you recharge your emotional batteries. But knowing when your partner needs alone time is important.

They might crave it first thing in the morning or need it right when they get home from work. 

48 What’s Your Favorite Meal We Eat Together?

Food can be love, but there’s a good chance you don’t even consider the emotions in the meals you eat together.

That’s why asking your partner is such a good idea. If it’s a homemade meal, you now have an incentive to cook it more frequently! 

49 If We Couldn’t Spend Any Money, What Would You Do With Me All Day?

Sure, you may dream of flying first-class around the world or traipsing on a private yacht, but there’s something inherently romantic about being creative with your time together.

How would you occupy your time if you two couldn’t spend any cash? The next step is considering challenging yourselves to do exactly that! 

50 What Are Your Thoughts on Growing Old Together?

Would your partner be excited or scared about a long-term commitment?

It may be either, but knowing this answer is helpful, especially if you’re trying to set goals for marriage or kids.

51 How Do You Feel About Our Level of Commitment?

If you two are early into dating, you may not exactly know where your partner stands.

But asking directly helps establish a baseline for your relationship. If they feel satisfied with how things are (but you want more commitment), that means it’s time to sit down and talk.

52 Whose Relationship Do You Really Admire? 

Does your real partner look up to the relationship of another person? Who truly embodies the notion of couples’ goals, in their opinion? Knowing the answer will help you see how your own relationship stacks up.

53 Do I Ever Make You Feel Insecure?

It can be an uncomfortable question to ask, but it’s valuable to know if you unintentionally do something that makes your partner doubt your abilities.

If you do, you can take steps to fix your mistakes moving forward with reason.

54 What’s Your Biggest Source of Stress Right Now?

What is weighing down your partner, do you know? Keying into their needs can help you be more sensitive to their needs.

Perhaps you two can also get together to strategize how to man age this particular problem.

55 What Was the Last Nightmare You Had?

Specific themes from our waking lives can be revealed in our dreams. You can start a conversation about your partner’s current struggles, fears, and needs by asking about their most recent night mare.

Ask them to tell you about any nightmares they’ve had recently if they say they can’t remember their last one.

56 How Do You Feel About My Family?

Families can make or break relationships, especially if you’re close with your relatives and value spending much time together.

The important takeaway here is to be open to what your partner has to say.

If you react defensively, you signify that you don’t really care about their genuine opinion. 

57 Do You Feel Like You Can Tell Me Anything?

When your partner talks to you, do they feel safe? Or do they hesitate to talk about something private or embarrassing?

Knowing if there are any communication barriers can help you two get closer and feel more safe.

58 What Did You Dream Of Being When You Were a Little Kid?

It’s always fun to find out what your partner wanted to do or be when they were younger, regardless of who they are to the day.

Looking at old baby photos together or reminiscing about other special childhood memories can help you answer this question.

59 How Do You Feel About the Boundaries in Our Relationship?

Boundaries are the glue of relationships, but they can sometimes be hard to define or even understand.

You risk feeling resentful or confused with your partner if you don’t have clear boundaries.

So asking this question can start an important conversation about the limits you two have with one another.

60 What Small Thing About Me Would You Miss the Most if I Was Gone? 

Maybe it’s the way you laugh at ridiculous commercials. Perhaps it’s how much you love eating a certain brand of cereal.

Whatever it is, the small details can often define the joys and uniqueness of happy relationships.

Don’t forget to tell your partner the small things you love the most!

61 How Happy Are You With Your Life? 

Does your partner feel satisfied with the way things are going? Or do they feel a little down, uneasy, or restless?

The answer can offer helpful information about how you can support one another in creating happy and fulfilling lives, even though it isn’t necessarily meant to be specific to your relationship.

62 What Do You Want Us to Stop Doing?

The question can be tricky. But if your real partner thinks about it, you may learn something important.

They may, for instance, want to stop using silent treatment of men when they are upset.

It’s also possible that they want you to stop thinking you can read minds. There is no right or wrong answer to this question, which is the takeaway.

It’s more important to be open to what they have to say.

Remember, lovelies, asking romantic questions is not just about gathering information; it’s about fostering intimacy, understanding, and appreciation in your relationship.

So, sprinkle some romance into your conversations and watch as your connection blossoms into something truly magical. 💖✨

By Louisa Loveluck

Hey there! I'm Louisa Loveluck, your trusted relationship advisor with over 7 years of experience. You might've caught my insights on relationships and more in Huffington Post UK. Thousands have already found guidance in my articles. Dive in for a transformative journey in understanding and navigating the complexities of relationships.