Hello, lovely readers! It’s Louisa Loveluck, and today we’re going to explore the art of comforting someone through the powerful medium of text.
When you are not physically present with someone, how do you show how much you care about them? Can a text message truly replace the intimacy of an in-person conversation or a warm hug?
Comforting someone via text can be difficult, but a few pointers can help.
Here are some ways to comfort someone via text:
- Be present – Give the person your full attention and let them know you’re here for them.
- Acknowledge their feelings – Show the person that you understand and that their emotions are valid.
- Encourage them – Give words of encouragement and support.
- Offer to help – Ask if there is anything you can do to assist them.
- Check in – Follow up later to see how the person is doing.
According to research, texting is by far the most popular form of communication among Americans under the age of 50. 95% of people aged 18 to 29 text, and the majority check their phones first thing in the morning.
In today’s increasingly digital world, texting with intention and compassion is more important than ever, as it can define the quality of your relationships with others.
When someone is going through a difficult time, sending the right text can mean the difference in receiving emotional support.
Let’s get to what you need to know.
How to Support Someone Over Text?
I’m just going through a lot right now.
I’ve been really depressed lately.
A lot is going on in my life right now.
Have you ever received texts from a friend or family member that read like that? If so, you might have been unsure of what to say. You don’t want to overreact, but you also don’t want to make light of how they feel.
When someone opens up to you over text, here are some basic things to keep in mind:
1. Continue Letting Them Know It’s Okay to Vent
Some people worry that talking about their feelings will seem like a chore. A true friend, on the other hand, sees feelings for what they are and accepts them.
You should now remind your friend that you’re ready to listen. They can talk about their problems and make complaints in a safe virtual space that you provide.
They will feel more secure talking about their feelings if they know you are paying full attention.
2. Validate Their Feelings
Any licensed therapist or relationship expert will tell you the following about how to support someone:Ensure the experience is real.
Pay attention to the words they choose to express their feelings. The idea isn’t to question or change the emotional reaction. Let them know that you can see what’s going on and call it what it is. That’s the idea. Feelings can sound like this when they are validated:
- “I imagine that must be so hard. No wonder you’re feeling low.”
- “I’d be scared if I were going through that too.”
- “It makes total sense why you feel depressed.”
- “I understand why you feel anxious.”
3. Remind Them That You Aren’t Judging Them
When people worry about how other people will react, they tend to withhold their feelings or lie about how they are doing.
It can still be helpful to remind your loved one that you won’t judge them with statements like:
- “You can tell me anything. I’m here.”
- “I promise to listen without judgment.”
- “I care so much about you and want to know what’s happening.”
- “I never judge you.”
4. Set Boundaries As Needed
Never lose sight of your own needs while being a good friend. Send a friendly message like, “I won’t be able to answer my phone for the next hour or so,” if you’re going to be at work and shouldn’t be reached. When I get back, I will definitely respond.
How to Comfort Someone Through Text
If a friend reaches out to you when they’re having a bad day, remember that you can’t make things better. Although it is not your job to fix anything, you can offer love and appreciation. You are not responsible for someone else’s feelings.
In a text message, you can comfort someone in the following ways:
1. I Love You So Much
Some people feel broken or unloveable during difficult times. People doubt that other people are there for them. Stressing how much you love them can give them much-needed comfort.
2. I Am Here For You No Matter What
This text conveys your relationship loyalty. You are not going anywhere, no matter how challenging things become or how hard the day is.
Knowing they can continue reaching out may help your friend feel more comforted, and you won’t be mad or upset with them for doing so.
3. I Will Do My Best to Help You Feel Supported During This Time
Even if you can’t inherently make someone feel better, you can convey your desire to be kind and supportive during this hard time.
With this text, you’re genuinely committing to be present for them.
4. I Don’t Know The Right Thing to Say, But I’m Truly Sorry
Perhaps your friend is going through something very difficult, like the death of a loved one, losing their job, or a breakup with their partner. The last thing you want to do is tend to know everything!
Simply admit that you’re deeply sorry for what’s going on, even if you don’t know the right words to say.
5. You Are So Important to Me
A down friend may feel like no one cares about their health. This text shows that they are without a doubt special and play an important part in your life.
6. I’ve Noticed You Seem A Little Distant. What’s Up?
Possibly your loved one has been acting strangely lately. They don’t appear to be like themselves, and you’re worried they may struggle more than they’re showing.
This text shows that you’re paying close attention to the connection. It shows that you have a high regard for their mental health even if you guess wrong (and all is well).
What if They Are Scared?
As a friend, you should first feel honored that someone is reaching out to you at this moment of vulnerability.
That’s not simple to do. You can respond to your friend’s sense of fear or anxiety in a few different ways:
1 Would You Like to Talk About This Over the Phone?
A phone call tends to be more emotionally intimate than a text message when offering support. If they answer this question, they can either call you or keep texting you, which some friends will prefer.
2 I’m So Sorry. I Wish I Could Be There Physically Right Now
This text conveys that you miss your loved one and wish you could do more to support them. It’s a way of showing how much you value the relationship.
3 I Know It’s Scary, But You’re Going to Get Through It
This text shows that you trust your loved one and that you consider them fully capable of coping with any stress that comes their way.
4 I Believe In You, and I Know You Can Do It!
You can help a friend who feels low or doubtful about themselves by trying to lift them up. People often need to be pushed.
Tips for Cheering Someone Up Over Text
If you want to help a friend feel better, avoid ignoring or invalidating their feelings.
Distractions can help, but they should be welcomed and not used to avoid real stress problems.
During a difficult time, here are some ways to help them smile:
1. I’m Picking Us Up Dinner Right Now. What Do You Want?
Instead of asking how you can help, start offering tangible suggestions like bringing food, running an errand, or helping with childcare.
Remember that special people may reject your offer, especially if they have a difficult time asking for help. But they’ll probably feel good knowing that you’re thinking about them.
2. Can I Send You Something Funny?
If you know your friend has a special sense of humor, comedic relief can undoubtedly be healing. However, if you use it as a distraction, it might come off as rude.
This text message politely requests that the subject be changed, regardless of whether you stumbled upon a hilarious meme or have a good story from the day. Your friend can now tell you yes or no.
3. I Can’t-Wait to See You This Weekend
Reminding them of plans can lift the spirits even if you can’t physically be there for them right now.
I’m available for anything you want to do, you may want to start low. Additionally, I will fully listen if you wish to speak.
4. I Want You to Know That I’m Always Here
We sometimes doubt the quality of our social support when we’re going through a tough time. People do care about our well-being and want to know how we’re doing, but sometimes we forget that.
This text tells someone you love that you won’t be going anywhere and that they can always count on you.
What to Say When Someone Is Sad Over Text?
It’s important to be reliable and empathic when family or friends share that they feel sad (or that you suspect they feel hurt emotionally).
Everybody finds sadness to be a challenging emotion. The person who is sad may feel overwhelmed by how bad they feel.
A sense of powerlessness or disappointment in one’s own ability to help may frequently overwhelm loved ones.
Here are some ways you can provide support through your text messages:
1. I Am So Sorry
This text says that you understand how much pain your friend is in. When it’s real, it can be so powerful, even though it’s short.
2. I Want You to Know How Much I Care About You
Depressed people struggle with guilt, shame, and worthlessness feelings. They occasionally wonder if life is even worth it because the bad days can feel endless.
During this vulnerable time, letting your loved one know how much you care—as long as you mean it—can help them feel cared for.
3. You Are Not Alone In This
Real or perceived isolation and sadness frequently go hand in hand. Your love may feel like no one can understand them or cares about their needs.
Remind them that you love them and that talking about their stress and feelings is okay with you.
4. I Imagine That Must Be Really Hard
Your friend’s difficult time is highlighted in this text. People frequently feel bad about their emotions or downplay their stress.
Well-intentioned loved ones can unintentionally make the problem worse by saying things like, “Well, it could be so much worse,” “Think of all the things you’re grateful for,” or “You’re so strong!”
So, something must be said about simply agreeing with and emphasizing that things are hard.
5. I Love You, and I Want You to Get Help
You should emphasize the significance of a loved one seeking support if you genuinely care about their health.
You can be a caring friend, but you are not a mental health professional and you may not be able to give them the level of support they need right now.
What to Say When Someone is Crying Over Text?
You might feel unsure of what to do if a love one texts you that they’re crying. You can’t just hug them without moving. There is a way to text them that feels like that big hug, though.
Here’s how to comfort someone over text if they’re crying:
1. It’s Okay to Be Sad, and I Don’t Blame You At All
Reminding someone that their feelings are valid and appropriate is powerful.
This kind of support statement shows that you completely understand where they’re coming from and that there is no judgment on your part.
2. I Am Here to Talk to You For As Long As You Need
This message reinforces that you care deeply about your loved one.
You want to be there through and through, even if that means talking for an hour- or over a few days. You’re not in any rush, and they can take as much time as they need.
3. I Know It Hurts. Hang In There. I’m Here.
This compassionate text shows them that you understand their pain and encourage them to keep going. Also, it lets them know you’re committed to the relationship.
4. How Can I Be Helpful For You In This Moment?
When you’re not sure how to respond, this can be a real help. You’re giving the other person a chance to consider what they really need by putting the ball in their court.
In the world of texts and emojis, the power of comforting words is immense. By being thoughtful, empathetic, and patient, you can provide genuine support to someone in need, even through the digital realm.
So, grab your phone, send those comforting messages, and let your words become a source of solace for those you care about.